I'm so sorry - we had this cottage up in Lake Maxinkuckee, in Culver. I've thought so often of the poor Pottawattomies we took this land away from. T….

There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind..

I'm a doctor of cowshit, pigshit, and chickenshit.....when you doctors figure out what you want, you'll find me out in the barn shoveling my thesis..

How embarrassing to be human..

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile..

Women are so useless and unimaginative, aren't they? All they ever think of planting in the dirt is the seed of something beautiful or edible. The on….

I'd like to teach Iraq about Democracy because we're so experienced with it. First they should know that after 100 years they should free their slave….

[I write] intuitively, reflexively, as if skiing down a steep mountain slope with no time to think..

Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?.

If I was ever to have a child, this is what I'd tell it: 'Child,' I'd say, 'don't never mess with time. Keep now now and then then. And if you ever g….

Every writer has to write his speech..

They say, you know, about evolution, it surely happened because their fossil record shows that. Look, my body and your body are miracles of design. S….

The highest treason in the USA is to say Americans are not loved, no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing there..

They tell him that there is no why, since the moment simply is and since all of them are trapped in the moment, like bugs in amber..

People say there are no atheists in foxholes. A lot of people think this is a good argument against atheism. Personally, I think it's a much better a….

I've been drawing all my life, just as a hobby, without really having shows or anything. It's just an agreeable thing to do, and I recommend it to ev….

You had to get everything exactly right or the editors would give you hell..

The world is too serious. To get mad at a work of art-because maybe somebody, somewhere is blowing his stack over what I've done-is like getting mad ….

Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an….

Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead..

Wake up, you idiots! Whatever made you think that money was so valuable?.