Kurt Vonnegut

Everything that ever has been always will be, and everything that ever will be always has been.

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

There are almost no characters in this story, and almost no dramatic confrontations, because most of the people in it are so sick and so much the listless playthings of enormous forces. One of the main effects of war, after all, is that people are discouraged from being characters.

The city was blacked out because bombers might come, so Billy didn't get to see Dresden do one of the most cheerful things a city can do when the sun goes down, which is to wink its lights on one by one.

He ate a pear. It was a hard one. It fought back against his grinding teeth. It snapped in juicy protest.

I will say, too, that lovemaking, if sincere, is one of the best ideas Satan put in the apple she gave to the serpent to give to Eve. The best idea in that apple, though, is making jazz.

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

The function of the artist is to make people like life better than they have before.

They like life alright, but that they would like it even better if they could know that it was going to end sometime.

Billy had a framed prayer on his office wall which expressed his method for keeping going, even though he was unenthusiastic about living. A lot of patients who saw the prayer on Billy’s wall told him that it helped them to keep going, too. It went like this: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” Among the things Billy Pilgrim could not change were the past, the present, and the future.

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.

profanity and obscenity entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their ears and eyes to you.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier.

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Make love when you can. It's good for you.

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

Trout was petrified there on Forty-second Street. It had given him a life not worth living, but I had also given him an iron will to live. This was a common combination on the planet Earth.

No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.