I'm eighty-three and I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm suing the cigarette company because it promised to kill me and it hasn't..

The champagne was dead. So it goes..

Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the slightest idea what's really going on..

Unhappy failures need not apply..

He became fubar in the classic way, which is to say that he was the victim of a temporary arrangement that became permanent..

It was not the thought that I was so unloved that froze me. I had taught myself to do without love. It was not the thought that God was cruel that fr….

Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself..

If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts..

It often is a terrible insult to some families if one of the kids turns out to be an artist and that's one way to really shake up the family if you h….

His mother understood my illness immediately, that it was my world rather than myself that was diseased..

I couldn't help wondering if that was what God put me on Earth for--to find out how much a man could take without breaking..

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be..

It was headquartered in Michigan City, a long way off. I never saw Ku Klux Klan march..

Our president is a Christian? So was Adolf Hitler. What can be said to our young people, now that psychopathic personalities, which is to say persons….

Love is where you find it..

This is what I find encouraging about the writing trades: ... They allow lunatics to seem saner than sane..

There was a message written in pencil on the tiles by the roller towel. This was it: What is the purpose of life? Trout plundered his pockets for a p….

...when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist..

I urge you to please notice when you are happy..

The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms..

When I used to teach creative writing, I would tell the students to make their characters want something right away..