It amazes me that we are all on Twitter and Facebook. By "we" I mean adults. We're adults, right? But emotionally we're a culture of seven-year-olds.….

Maybe depression is the most reasonable response to all the crap around us. Maybe it's the happy people who need medication..

My favorite part is being engaged with somebody's story and life, and getting a laugh with people I have a tremendous amount of respect for or not, a….

When I was a young comic in New York and I wasn't getting any work, I was wandering around the Lower East Side with my notebook. I would stop at the ….

I once talked about wanting to kill myself, but I don't think I was ever really planning on doing it. It was just comforting to know that I could..

You can't avoid pain in life. It's how you handle pain, that's what defines you..

Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'.

When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all of the Cheech and Chong records and all of the Ri….

Whether people know the evolution of the conversation or not, I don't know, but thematically, as a comedian, I stay in the same ballpark - around my ….

I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world..

The Internet has usurped the collective unconscious and access to cosmic consciousness has become difficult and almost primitive..

I seem to offend everybody. I just never got into the universe. I don't seem to have a tremendous amount of discipline or patience with having to fol….

He does have that weird mixture of born again Christian and stupid that some people mistake for courage and focus..

The medium of podcasting and the personal nature of it, the relationship you build with your listeners and the relationship they have with you - they….

Americans don't understand irony? I am an intelligent person living in the United States. My entire existence is ironic..

Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise'..

In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment..

I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what i….

It seems people are more willing to let other people control their minds now and recreational drug use doesn't seem to have that same renegade sense ….

We’re built to deal with death, disease, failure, struggle, heartbreak, problems. It’s what separates us from the animals and why we envy and love an….

God doesn't seem to talk to people like he used to. Who's he talking to now? I don't know. Then I'm walking down the street in Manhattan one day, and….