Mark Twain

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.