In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had….

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically..

Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?.

I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people..

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy..

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy..

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference..

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father..

If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs y….

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely..

That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters..

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason..

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen..

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg..

Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole..

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!.

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clin….

If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you ….

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now..

The bravest thing that men do is love women..

My life needs editing..