Explore Quotes by Mort Sahl

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a_x000D_ yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with_x000D_ a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels_x000D_ running the government.

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

I don't think fascism is dying for.

You haven't lived until you've died in California

This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.

We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

The bravest thing that men do is love women.