Writers feel like a middleman, standing with pen in hand over the page. A force greater than me stands above telling me what to write. That may sound….

[When you write a play] you walk into a forest without a knife, without a compass. But . . . if you have a sense of geography, you find that you're c….

Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages..

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny..

I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Its either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple.

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way..

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet..

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life..

Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity..

It's always painful when you're writing memoirs because you've got to go through the dark places, but it gives you a chance to find out the person yo….

Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by t….

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples..

Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it..

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far..

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement...Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything..

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity..

When its 100 degrees in New York, it's 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it's still 72. However, there are 6 million….

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling..

I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors..

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money..

Rewriting is when writing really gets to be fun. . . . In baseball you only get three swings and you're out. In rewriting, you get almost as many swi….