Occupation: Comedian Birth: June 13, 1926 Death: January 10, 1982
I don't understand why people don't remember my name..
An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing..
The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name..
I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery..
My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house ….
I laughed all the way through Love Story..
Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?.
My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the ….
My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business..
My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was prou….
Women are my best friends, my best audience. If I look out from the stage and see a lot of men, I know I'm in trouble.
Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse..
As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her….
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this ….
When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars..
I'm used to living alone, and I like it that way. You become so selfish living alone...I'd make a terrible husband anyway..
I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185..
I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a da….
I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly..
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church..
Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to..