To live like a poor man is only fun when you are rich..

I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only t….

If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue..

I hate being moved. I hate that man who came in. So self-righteous, so cruel. He made fun of me, that's why I cried. You never did that. You led me i….

Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night..

It is youth that has discovered love as a weapon..

The habit of religion is oppressive, an easy way out of thought..

Sex is a conversation carried out by another means..

The stupidity of a stupid man is mercifully intimate and reticient, while the stupidity of an intellectual is cried from the rooftops..

Once we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our mind, our duty is to furnish it well..

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilised music in the world..

Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved..

Acting on television is like being asked by the captain to entertain the passengers while the ship goes down..

Basically I'm a very serious person, but I think the form it takes with me is comedy. I see the amusing side of all potentially pompous situations..

Generals are fascinating cases of arrested development - after all, at five all of us wanted to be generals..

There are experts in little things but there are no experts in big things. There are experts in this fact and that fact but there are no moral expert….

People who reach the top of the tree are only those who haven't got the qualifications to detain them at the bottom..

I believe that the Jews have made a contribution to the human condition out of all proportion to their numbers: I believe them to be an immense peopl….

And here is the lesson I learned in the army. If you want to do a thing badly, you have to work at it as though you want to do it well..

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss..

I am just a man, not fit to do the work of God... or the Devil..