Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well..

My stand-up is far more rooted in reality than my Twitter..

In real life, I am alarmingly boring..

On stage, I'm me. I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a guy, I'm a mess - but I am a cohesive thing that you recognize as one human entity saying these thi….

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodie….

I can say that I'm a feminist and I try to be progressive and all that stuff. But I when I'm tired or when I've been thrown up on for the second time….

I hate wearing suits and ties..

I'm crazy about Shakespeare, who was a notorious word inventor. And my wife is an English teacher, and she's hilarious..

Don't even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God, if you don't have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan..

I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, 'people.'.

I'm endlessly fascinated by parenting, marriage, my wife and the ins and outs of marriage..

People say that the largest sexual organ is the brain, and I think the fact that they definitely amuse each other is probably the strongest glue in t….

I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and smell the audience - and I love that!.

I don't think of marriage as the drudge work that a lot of sitcoms and movies might have shown it to be, I think it's more deadly murderous rage, una….

We can and should complain about certain horrors of the modern world, but when it comes to the treatment of mental illness, the advances made in the ….

Politicians, it's in their job description to just lie, every day..

The danger for a comedian on Twitter is the same danger that any civilian faces: sometimes you gotta put that phone down and go live your life. When ….

Depression taught me the importance of compassion and hard work, and that you can overcome enormous obstacles..

I think your ambition for something changes as you go..

It's hard for me to get embarrassed, but the things that do embarrass me would be if anybody ever heard my wife and I talking in our robust, made-up ….

In high school, I definitely fancied myself an intense guy, which is so lame..