When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it..

Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people..

I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on..

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'.