Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!.

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?.

Basically ... out of all the ridiculous religion stories which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous—the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah ... the….

I love life... Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel ….

I would never kill somebody, unless they pissed me off..

Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike..

We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us..

If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this.….

People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don't make sense to anyone else..

Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be..

Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas..

I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there….

When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patie….

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved,it would be much simpler, but much less magical.

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it..

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anyth….

It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters….

When you're superhot, you don't have the time to enjoy being superhot, because you're working your ass off. By the time we will actually have time to….

The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, ….

It's all based on saying the shocking thing. We used to have a great time going to Hollywood parties and saying 'I think George Bush is doing a great….

Something is cool until everyone thinks it's cool..