Explore Quotes by Zach Galifianakis

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'

The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.

My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.

I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.