I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

- Ron White

I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

- Ron White

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I …

- Ron White

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

- Ron White

We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!

- Ron White

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

- Ron White

Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I reali…

- Ron White

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

- Ron White

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

- Ron White