The best apology, I think, was from my husband, Steve, who slept with a close friend of mine decades back, when we were committed to being life partners but not yet married. And many of the factors that made Steve's apology so healing are universal. One important thing is that he confessed to the affair, rather than my discovering it. He looked deeply into his own history in terms of why this happened, but he never used that history as an excuse.
When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either. - Harriet Lerner
When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either.
- Harriet Lerner
We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same p… - Harriet Lerner
We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same p…
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others. - Harriet Lerner
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
Keep in mind that the tendency to be judgmental - toward yourself or another person - is a good barometer of how anxious or stressed out you are. Jud… - Harriet Lerner
Keep in mind that the tendency to be judgmental - toward yourself or another person - is a good barometer of how anxious or stressed out you are. Jud…
An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability,… - Harriet Lerner
An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability,…
Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person. - Harriet Lerner
Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our co… - Harriet Lerner
Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our co…
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first. - Harriet Lerner
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard. - Harriet Lerner
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
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