An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.
Interpretation
An intimate relationship allows both partners to be their true selves without fear of losing their identity.
This quote by Harriet Lerner emphasizes that true intimacy in relationships is built on the foundation of honesty and authenticity. It suggests that each partner should feel free to express both their strengths and vulnerabilities, fostering a space where neither feels the need to compromise their true self or silence their voice. By balancing these aspects, a deeper, more meaningful connection can be achieved.
In practice
In a relationship workshop, to illustrate emotional balance.
It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself.
Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change.
Let's create an integrated global community where we have shared benefits and responsibilities, and we don't fight because of our differences.
I've been my most happy and my most unhappy in relationships. I have family and friends and people I care very much about. I've got a really, really, really good life.
Tonight I am ugly. I have lost all faith in my ability to attract males, and in the female animal that is a rather pathetic malady . . . I don't care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual. What is it that makes one attract others?
Personal relations are the important thing for ever and ever, and not this outer life of telegrams and anger.
I wouldn't be the man I am today without the woman who agreed to marry me 20 years ago
A lonely man is a lonesome thing, a stone, a bone, a stick, a receptacle for Gilbey's gin, a stooped figure sitting at the edge of a hotel bed, heaving copious sighs like the autumn wind.
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