An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.
Interpretation
An intimate relationship allows both partners to be their true selves without fear of losing their identity.
This quote by Harriet Lerner emphasizes that true intimacy in relationships is built on the foundation of honesty and authenticity. It suggests that each partner should feel free to express both their strengths and vulnerabilities, fostering a space where neither feels the need to compromise their true self or silence their voice. By balancing these aspects, a deeper, more meaningful connection can be achieved.
In practice
In a relationship workshop, to illustrate emotional balance.
It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself.
Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change.
Very often I've known people who wouldn't say a word to each other, but they'd go to see movies together and experience life that way.
I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
The best counter to the kind of radicalization and marginalization that we've seen in other parts of the world is to create an inclusive society where everyone, including especially Muslim Canadians, have every opportunity to succeed, just like anybody else.
I flew into a small airport surrounded by cornfields and pastures, ready to carry out the two commands my father had written out for me the night before I left Calcutta: Spend two years studying creative writing at the Iowa Writers' Workshop, then come back home and marry the bridegroom he selected for me from our caste and class.
Within the lesbian community I am Black, and within the Black community I am a lesbian. Any attack against Black people is a lesbian and gay issue, because I and thousands of other Black women are part of the lesbian community. Any attack against lesbians and gays is a Black issue, because thousands of lesbians and gay men are Black. There is no hierarchy of oppression.
Being known as a writer did change the relationships I had with directors. The rap on actors is that they always want to inflate their parts. But when directors know you write screenplays and have a different view of things, you really get invited into the huddle in a much fuller way. And those collaborations end in friendships.
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