Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself.
Harriet LernerRead
It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Fear often stems from avoidance, which prevents us from facing challenging situations.
In this quote, Harriet Lerner emphasizes that it is not the fear itself that keeps us from acting courageously; rather, it is our tendency to avoid uncomfortable situations. While avoiding challenges may provide temporary comfort, it ultimately perpetuates fear rather than alleviating it, suggesting that confronting our fears is essential for personal growth and bravery.
Themes
FearAvoidanceCourageVulnerabilityEmotions
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be used in a motivational speech about overcoming fears.
More from Harriet Lerner
All quotes →Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
Harriet LernerRead
An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.
Harriet LernerRead
Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change.
Harriet LernerRead
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