As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

- David Sedaris

It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me fo…

- David Sedaris

Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.

- David Sedaris

If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he…

- David Sedaris

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes do…

- David Sedaris

When asked "What do we need to learn this for?" any high-school teacher can confidently answer that, regardless of the subject, the knowledge will co…

- David Sedaris

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it ou…

- David Sedaris

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

- David Sedaris

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a …

- David Sedaris