Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
Henry CloudRead
When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children
Interpretation
Suppressing painful emotions hinders the expression of joyful ones, impacting intimacy in relationships.
This quote emphasizes the interconnectedness of human emotions, suggesting that when an individual represses painful feelings, they simultaneously inhibit their capacity to experience joy. It illustrates how a full spectrum of emotions is essential for authentic connections with others, including romantic partners, family, and even a higher power, ultimately illustrating the importance of emotional vulnerability in fostering intimacy.
In practice
This quote can be shared during a workshop on emotional intelligence and its importance in relationships.
Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.
One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.
The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do it, they must also be held accountable for what they do. Accountability clarifies freedom. In the teams and companies where you see boundary confusion, power struggles, control, over-reaching of one's line of responsibility, you will also see lapses in accountability as well.
Gogol remembers having to do the same thing when he was younger, when his grandparents died...He remembers, back then, being bored by it, annoyed at having to observe a ritual no one else he knew followed, in honor of people he had seen only a few times in his life...Now, sitting together at the kitchen table at six-thirty every evening, his father's chair empty, this meatless meal is the only thing that seems to make sense.
No use slaving for me and then saying you want to be cared for: who cares for a slave? If you come back, come back for the sake of good fellowship; for you’ll get nothing else.
We have to look and ensure that we're paying attention to what we're doing, so that we don't reflexively institute processes and procedures that exclude people without thought.
After divorce of Pompeia in 62 BC I feel that members of my family should never be suspected of breaking the law. -Meos tam suspicione quam crimine iudico carere oportere
That's the duty of the old, to be anxious on behalf of the young. And the duty of the young is to scorn the anxiety of the old.
I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, and gratitude for her all-too-short life. It is a chance to show to the whole world the British nation united in grief and respect.
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