Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
Henry CloudRead
When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children
Interpretation
Suppressing painful emotions hinders the expression of joyful ones, impacting intimacy in relationships.
This quote emphasizes the interconnectedness of human emotions, suggesting that when an individual represses painful feelings, they simultaneously inhibit their capacity to experience joy. It illustrates how a full spectrum of emotions is essential for authentic connections with others, including romantic partners, family, and even a higher power, ultimately illustrating the importance of emotional vulnerability in fostering intimacy.
In practice
This quote can be shared during a workshop on emotional intelligence and its importance in relationships.
Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.
One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.
The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do it, they must also be held accountable for what they do. Accountability clarifies freedom. In the teams and companies where you see boundary confusion, power struggles, control, over-reaching of one's line of responsibility, you will also see lapses in accountability as well.
In some instances, you may care so much about the person who has hurt you, or be so unable to be angry with him (or with anyone), that you rationalize his hurtful acts by finding some basis in your own actions for his hurtful behavior; you then feel guilty rather than angry. Put in other terms, you become angry with yourself rather than with the one who hurt you.
What we need to do is learn to respect and embrace our differences until our differences don't make a difference in how we are treated.
Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprise at the large number that re-enlist.
Religion creates community, community creates altruism and altruism turns us away from self and towards the common good... There is something about the tenor of relationships within a religious community that makes it the best tutorial in citizenship and good neighborliness.
All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. Girl, child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I had to fight in my own house. I loves Harpo. God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead before I let him beat me.
I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.
Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.