Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
Henry CloudRead
Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Change in a marriage relies on the willingness of one partner to take action regarding issues that affect the relationship.
This quote highlights the importance of individual responsibility within a marriage. It suggests that often, one partner may bear the weight of a problem that affects both, and real change can only occur when that partner takes proactive steps towards addressing the issue, rather than waiting for the other to change or take responsibility. It underscores the dynamic nature of relationships and the need for active participation from both parties to foster a healthy marital environment.
Themes
MarriageResponsibilityChangeRelationshipPartnership
In practice
Example use cases
This quote could be used in a marriage counseling session to encourage open communication.
More from Henry Cloud
All quotes →A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.
Henry CloudRead
When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children
Henry CloudRead
One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.
Henry CloudRead
The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
Henry CloudRead
The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do it, they must also be held accountable for what they do. Accountability clarifies freedom. In the teams and companies where you see boundary confusion, power struggles, control, over-reaching of one's line of responsibility, you will also see lapses in accountability as well.
Henry CloudRead
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