My children cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness. Sometimes I seem to myself, in my feelings toward these tiny guiltless beings, a monster of selfishness and intolerance.
Interpretation
This quote expresses the complex and conflicting emotions a parent experiences regarding their children, encompassing both love and struggle.
Adrienne Rich reflects on the intense and often contradictory feelings that come with motherhood. The quote illustrates the dual nature of parental love, revealing how it can be accompanied by struggles with ambivalence, where moments of deep joy and gratitude coexist with feelings of frustration and resentment. This emotional complexity emphasizes the challenges inherent in nurturing children, highlighting how a parent's passionate feelings can oscillate between pride and distress, ultimately showcasing the depth of love intertwined with the burdens of responsibility.
In practice
During a heartfelt conversation about parenting at a family gathering.
The word revolution itself has become not only a dead relic of Leftism, but a key to the deadendedness of male politics: the revolution of a wheel which returns in the end to the same place; the revolving door of a politics which has liberated women only to use them, and only within the limits of male tolerance.
A president cannot meaningfully honor certain token artists while the people at large are so dishonored.'”
There is no 'the truth','a truth' - truth is not one thing, or even a system. It is an increasing complexity. the pattern of the carpet is a surface. When we look closely, or when we become weavers, we learn of the tiny multiple threads unseen in the overall pattern, the knots on the underside of the carpet
It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness
It's as if, in the mother's eyes, her smile, her stroking touch, the child first reads the message:'You are there!'
Pride is a tricky, glorious, double-edged feeling.
But it wasn't just that he was the most intelligent member in the family. He was also the nicest, in lots of ways. He never got mad at anybody. People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily, but Allie never did, and he had very red hair.
Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being.
My parents told me I'd point to a bed of flowers and say 'Pink. Pretty,' before I knew any other words.
This is part of what a family is about, not just love. It's knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. Not work.
Men never think, at least seldom think, what a hard task it is for us women to go through this very often. God's will be done, and if He decrees that we are to have a great number of children why we must try to bring them up as useful and exemplary members of society.
Your children live or die without you. No matter what we do, no matter how we agonize or obsess, we cannot choose for our children whether they live or die. It's a devastating realization, but liberating.
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