I love my family, even as I critique their dysfunctionalities.
Interpretation
Love for family persists despite recognizing their flaws.
This quote by Bell Hooks emphasizes the complexity of family relationships, where love coexists with the ability to critique and recognize dysfunctions within the family unit. It suggests that true love allows for honest reflections and acknowledges imperfections, which can lead to healthier family dynamics and understanding.
In practice
During a family reunion, I shared Bell Hooks' quote to encourage open conversations about our dynamics.
Privilege is not in and of itself bad; what matters is what we do with privilege. I want to live in a world where all women have access to education, and all women can earn PhDβs, if they so desire. Privilege does not have to be negative, but we have to share our resources and take direction about how to use our privilege in ways that empower those who lack it.
Self-love is the foundation of our loving practice. Without it our other efforts to love fail. Giving ourselves love we provide our inner being with the opportunity to have the unconditional love we may have always longed to receive from someone else.
While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually "know the emotional costs of keeping a secret" until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.
When we only name the problem, when we state complaint without a constructive focus or resolution, we take hope away. In this way critique can become merely an expression of profound cynicism, which then works to sustain dominator culture.
Once you do away with the idea of people as fixed, static entities, then you see that people can change, and there is hope.
I still think it's important for people to have a sharp, ongoing critique of marriage in patriarchal society β because once you marry within a society that remains patriarchal, no matter how alternative you want to be within your unit, there is still a culture outside you that will impose many, many values on you whether you want them to or not.
Though motherhood is the most important of all the professions - requiring more knowledge than any other department in human affairs - there was no attention given to preparation for this office.
I am convinced that if we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect_x000D_ _x000D_ the family, it would be analogous to straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.
Children should be able to see the Gospel modeled in the way their father loves their mother with a sacrificial love.
There are people who are just suicidal, regardless. They are built to self-destruct. It seems, in my family, like a virus that's resistant to any kind of help or care or medication.
The ideal of womanhood in India is motherhood - that marvellous, unselfish, all - suffering, ever - forgiving mother.
We are an American family and we rise and fall together as one nation.
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