It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'
I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy? - Laura Kightlinger
I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?
- Laura Kightlinger
I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead. - Laura Kightlinger
I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.
[On living in New York City:] I'm oblivious to everything. I just don't notice anything. I sat in a coffee shop, drank half a cup of coffee before I … - Laura Kightlinger
[On living in New York City:] I'm oblivious to everything. I just don't notice anything. I sat in a coffee shop, drank half a cup of coffee before I …
Anything can happen with a razor. - Laura Kightlinger
Anything can happen with a razor.
The thing that amazes me about getting fired is that nobody ever has anything insightful to say about it. They always say the same thing. They always… - Laura Kightlinger
The thing that amazes me about getting fired is that nobody ever has anything insightful to say about it. They always say the same thing. They always…
I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage. - Laura Kightlinger
I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn… - Laura Kightlinger
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn…
I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, o… - Laura Kightlinger
I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, o…
I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy. - Laura Kightlinger
I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
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