I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

- Dorothy Parker

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- Dorothy Parker

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

- Dorothy Parker

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

- Dorothy Parker

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

- Dorothy Parker

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

- Dorothy Parker

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

- Dorothy Parker

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

- Dorothy Parker

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

- Dorothy Parker