Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete.

- Whitney Cummings

When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it's objectifying. But when a woman writes it, it's feminism.

- Whitney Cummings

I think that we're in a really amazing time, where there are really a lot of really fantastic female actresses and comedians. I imagine there's just …

- Whitney Cummings

There was a time in L.A. when I drove to 7-Eleven to go grocery shopping, and I locked my keys in my car, which wasn't insured. My wallet was in ther…

- Whitney Cummings

I did some pretty embarrassing modeling, like catalogs and QVC. I know there's probably a stereotype where all pretty girls think they're unattractiv…

- Whitney Cummings

I guess the verdict is in - I am not a sociopath. It's not effective or productive not to be nice. It would undermine the goals I want to achieve on …

- Whitney Cummings

I feel like, in a lot of shows where the woman is in charge, the woman is this ball buster and the guy is sort of weak and spineless. And that's neve…

- Whitney Cummings

I was joking the other day about how my real life feels like a TV show, and my TV life feels real - because, to be on Thursday nights on NBC, which i…

- Whitney Cummings

My definition of love is: Being willing to die for someone, that you yourself want to kill.

- Whitney Cummings