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When we struggle to change ourselves we, in fact, only continue the patterns of self-judgement and aggression. We keep the war against ourselves alive.
Jack Kornfield
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Struggling to change ourselves can lead to self-judgment and internal conflict.

Jack Kornfield emphasizes that the effort to change can sometimes backfire, resulting in a continuous cycle of self-judgment and inner conflict. Instead of fostering personal growth, this struggle may cause individuals to perpetuate negative patterns and remain in a state of war with themselves, ultimately hindering true transformation and peace.

Themes

ChangeSelf-JudgmentInner ConflictTransformationSelf-Acceptance

In practice

Example use cases

During a mental health seminar to emphasize the importance of self-compassion.

More from Jack Kornfield

Most of us have spent our lives caught up in plans, expectations, ambitions for the future; in regrets, guilt or shame about the past. To come into the present is to stop the war.
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We need courage and strength, a kind of warrior spirit. But the place for this warrior strength is in the heart. We need energy, commitment, and courage not to run from our life nor to cover it over with any philosophy-mate rial or spiritual. We need a warrior’s heart that lets us face our lives directly, our pains and limitations, our joys and possibilities.
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The questions asked at the end of lie are very simple ones: Did I love well? Did I love the people around me, my community, the earth, in a deep way? And perhaps, Did I live fully? Did I offer myself to life?
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We can bring our spiritual practice into the streets, into our communities, when we see each realm as a temple, as a place to discover that which is sacred.
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According to Buddhist scriptures, compassion is the "quivering of the pure heart" when we have allowed ourselves to be touched by the pain of life.
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Much of spiritual life is self-acceptance, maybe all of it.
Jack KornfieldRead

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