as females in a patriarchal culture, we were not slaves of love; most of us were and are slaves of longing-- yearning for a master who will set us free and claim us because we cannot claim ourselves
Interpretation
The quote reflects on the struggles of women in a society dominated by patriarchal values, highlighting their deep desire for connection and freedom.
Bell Hooks eloquently addresses the complex emotions women experience within a patriarchal framework, emphasizing that many women do not simply seek love but instead yearn for a deeper sense of liberation and identity. This longing often manifests as a desire for a master figure who can provide not only love but also the recognition and validation that they struggle to attain independently in a society that marginalizes them.
In practice
This quote could be used in a speech about women's rights and empowerment.
Privilege is not in and of itself bad; what matters is what we do with privilege. I want to live in a world where all women have access to education, and all women can earn PhD’s, if they so desire. Privilege does not have to be negative, but we have to share our resources and take direction about how to use our privilege in ways that empower those who lack it.
Self-love is the foundation of our loving practice. Without it our other efforts to love fail. Giving ourselves love we provide our inner being with the opportunity to have the unconditional love we may have always longed to receive from someone else.
While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually "know the emotional costs of keeping a secret" until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.
When we only name the problem, when we state complaint without a constructive focus or resolution, we take hope away. In this way critique can become merely an expression of profound cynicism, which then works to sustain dominator culture.
Once you do away with the idea of people as fixed, static entities, then you see that people can change, and there is hope.
I still think it's important for people to have a sharp, ongoing critique of marriage in patriarchal society — because once you marry within a society that remains patriarchal, no matter how alternative you want to be within your unit, there is still a culture outside you that will impose many, many values on you whether you want them to or not.
When I say the word You, I mean _x000D_ a hundred universes.
The mere habit of learning to love is the thing; and a teachableness of disposition in a young lady is a great blessing
The honorary duty of a human being is to love.
Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.
Affection should not be too sharp eyed, and love is not made by magnifying glasses.
Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say, "I love you, too."
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