Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.

Zach Braff's Popular Quotes

It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.

- Zach Braff

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

- Zach Braff

I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morn…

- Zach Braff

I know that [Mike] Tyson talked about wanting to eat his opponent's children, but I don't think he ever had the balls to do it. I'm different - when …

- Zach Braff

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

- Zach Braff

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.

- Zach Braff

Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

- Zach Braff

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.

- Zach Braff

It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure…

- Zach Braff