The first relative I came out to was my aunt Teri, a superior court judge in San Francisco. Her reaction surprised me. 'I've known you were gay for years,' she said. From that moment on I was comfortable in my own skin.
Interpretation
Coming out to someone can bring a sense of relief and acceptance, especially when the person has already recognized your true self.
In this quote, Jason Collins shares his experience of coming out to his aunt, a judge, who unexpectedly revealed that she had known about his sexual orientation for years. This moment of acceptance allowed him to embrace his identity confidently, highlighting the importance of supportive relationships in the journey of self-acceptance.
In practice
During an LGBTQ+ pride event, I shared this quote to emphasize the importance of familial acceptance.
I would love to see an athlete live their life in an authentic way, not feel that they have to hide, not feel that they have to be afraid, or live with shame - all the other things that go with being a closeted athlete. No human being should have to walk that path. But there is that fear of stepping forward.
The worst insult you can give a professional athlete is to call them soft. And the stereotype out there is that gay is soft.
For many young people growing up in minority communities, there is a sense that their lives are disposable. As athletes, we have a platform to let those kids know that their lives are important. That their lives matter to us.
Some people insist they've never met a gay person. But Three Degrees of Jason Collins dictates that no NBA player can claim that anymore. Pro basketball is a family. And pretty much every family I know has a brother, sister or cousin who's gay. In the brotherhood of the NBA, I just happen to be the one who's out.
My dream was to play in the NBA and live my authentic life as a proud gay man at the same time. I was able to accomplish both of those goals because of the people who have supported me throughout my life.
I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport.
And I wonder, among all the tangles of this mortal coil, which one contains tighter knots to undo, & consequently suggests more tugging, & pain, & diversified elements of misery, than the marriage tie.
The world, in truth, is a wedding.
Is there anything as incredible as the love story of your own parents? Anything as hard to grasp as the fact that those two over-the-hill players, permanently on the disabled list, were once in the starting lineup? It's impossible to imagine my father, who in my experience was aroused mainly by the lowering of interest rates, suffering the acute, adolescent passions of the flesh.
Relationships based on obligation lack dignity.
Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don't over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.
Not to expose your true feelings to an adult seems to be instinctive from the age of seven or eight onwards.
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