God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.
I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic. - Jim Norton
I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic.
- Jim Norton
What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester? - Jim Norton
What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified ge… - Jim Norton
And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified ge…
The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the m… - Jim Norton
The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the m…
Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a tow… - Jim Norton
Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a tow…
People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't. - Jim Norton
People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.
I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like. - Jim Norton
I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades. - Jim Norton
Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
You look like a diabetic strip club owner. - Jim Norton
You look like a diabetic strip club owner.
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