[Women] tend to collect more pieces of data when they think, put them into more complex patterns, see more options and outcomes. They tend to be contextual, holistic thinkers.
Helen FisherRead
What our grandmothers told us about playing hard to get is true. The whole point of the game is to impress and capture. It's not about honesty. Many men and women, when they're playing the courtship game, deceive so they can win. Novelty, excitement and danger drive up dopamine in the brain. And both sexes brag.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights the deceptive nature of courtship, where individuals often use tactics rather than honesty to attract others.
In this quote, Helen Fisher observes that traditional advice about 'playing hard to get' holds true in modern courtship practices. She suggests that many individuals engage in deceptive behaviors during courtship, valuing novelty and excitement over honesty. The interplay of these dynamics can elevate the thrill of attraction, albeit at the cost of authenticity. As people strive to impress each other, the stakes often involve exaggeration and manipulation in the pursuit of winning someone's affection.
Themes
CourtshipDeceptionRelationshipsLoveGamesExcitementHonesty
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about dating strategies, one might say: 'As Helen Fisher suggests, sometimes we play hard to get.'
More from Helen Fisher
All quotes →People live for love. They kill for love. They die for love. They have songs, poems, novels, sculptures, paintings, myths, legends. It's one of the most powerful brain systems on Earth for both great joy and great sorrow.
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Your sweetheart calls you by another's name. His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy - that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation - can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival.
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Any kind of novelty or excitement drives up dopamine in the brain, and dopamine is associated with romantic love.
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Most of us make up our minds in the first three minutes of meeting someone whether there's a potential for a relationship.
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People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply say, 'Hardly.' You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake, and then when you sit down and eat that cake, you can still feel that joy.
Helen FisherRead
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