I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Mitch HedbergRead
I play the guitar. I taught myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision... because I didn't know how to play it, so I was a shitty teacher. I would never have went to me.
Interpretation
This quote humorously reflects on the irony of self-teaching and the difficulties of not having proper guidance.
Mitch Hedberg uses humor to highlight the challenges and inadequacies of self-learning an instrument. By stating he was a 'shitty teacher' to himself, he emphasizes that without proper instruction, one may struggle to learn effectively, leading to frustration and a lack of competence.
In practice
This quote can be used during a workshop on music education to emphasize the importance of proper guidance.
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'
I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.
and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.
There aren't many downsides to being rich, other than paying taxes and having relatives asking for money. But being famous, that's a 24 hour job right there.
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
My life had made me funny, and cancer wasn't going to change that.
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