I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

- Joe E. Lewis

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

- Joe E. Lewis

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

- Joe E. Lewis

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

- Joe E. Lewis

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

- Joe E. Lewis

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

- Joe E. Lewis

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.

- Joe E. Lewis

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

- Joe E. Lewis

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

- Joe E. Lewis