It's never over till it's over with a friend.

- Howard Jacobson

The perfect bacon sandwich is on white bread, very soft and very thick. Sourdough with a good crust. The bacon is half way to being crispy - and ther…

- Howard Jacobson

How do you go on knowing that you will never again - not ever, ever - see the person you have loved? How do you survive a single hour, a single minut…

- Howard Jacobson

The girls pick snouts from the pack as though they're chocolates and it matters which they select.

- Howard Jacobson

How do you explain to somebody who doesn't understand that you don't build a library to read. A library is a resource. Something you go to, for refer…

- Howard Jacobson

Although I was too young to understand the theory of universal (that's to say male) guilt, I was old enough to know which sex suffered migraine and w…

- Howard Jacobson

A novelist should make you realize nothing is stable. If you don't believe anything with robustness, you're doing something more radical than anythin…

- Howard Jacobson

In the matrimonial life of the Jewish male every day is Yom Kippur.

- Howard Jacobson

I took the route favoured by all worldly failures and became a spiritual success.

- Howard Jacobson