One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.

- Peter Cook

All in all I'd rather have been a judge than a miner. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do …

- Peter Cook

The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.

- Peter Cook

I've had some wonderful ideas for getting the dominating going. I've got some extremely subtle advertising slogans that should get the public behind …

- Peter Cook

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

- Peter Cook

I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

- Peter Cook

Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very…

- Peter Cook

Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

- Peter Cook

I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it.

- Peter Cook