If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized. - Johnny Carson
Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
- Johnny Carson
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. - Johnny Carson
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, a… - Johnny Carson
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, a…
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is:… - Johnny Carson
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is:…
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is … - Johnny Carson
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is …
I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours. - Johnny Carson
I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples. - Johnny Carson
Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.
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