I knew it... I'm surrounded by assholes!

- Mel Brooks

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

- Mel Brooks

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

- Mel Brooks

Tragedy is what happens to me; comedy is what happens to you.

- Mel Brooks

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.

- Mel Brooks

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

- Mel Brooks

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

- Mel Brooks

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

- Mel Brooks

You want to be as smart as you can about being stupid.

- Mel Brooks