You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?
I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park. - Larry The Cable Guy
I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.
- Larry The Cable Guy
Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck. - Larry The Cable Guy
Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.
I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo - Larry The Cable Guy
I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling - Larry The Cable Guy
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling
Remember, half the people you know are below average. - Larry The Cable Guy
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license. - Larry The Cable Guy
I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware … - Larry The Cable Guy
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware …
He who laughs last, thinks slowest. - Larry The Cable Guy
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night. - Larry The Cable Guy
I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night.
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