When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either.

- Harriet Lerner

We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same p…

- Harriet Lerner

Keep in mind that the tendency to be judgmental - toward yourself or another person - is a good barometer of how anxious or stressed out you are. Jud…

- Harriet Lerner

Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.

- Harriet Lerner

An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability,…

- Harriet Lerner

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our co…

- Harriet Lerner

Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.

- Harriet Lerner

If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.

- Harriet Lerner

If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.

- Harriet Lerner