Love is generally confused with dependence; but in point of fact, you can love only in proportion to your capacity for independence.
Rollo MayRead
We receive love — from our children as well as others — not in proportion to our demands or sacrifices or needs, but roughly in proportion to our own capacity to love.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Love is received based on our ability to give it, rather than our demands or needs.
This quote by Rollo May emphasizes that the love we receive from others, including our children, is not determined by how much we sacrifice or demand love from them. Instead, it highlights that love is relational and reflects our own capacity to love others authentically and openly. Thus, the quality and quantity of love we give directly influence the love we receive in return.
Themes
LoveCapacityRelationshipChildrenGiving
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be shared during a parenting workshop to emphasize the importance of parental love.
More from Rollo May
All quotes →To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before
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Terrorism and the whole drug scene are vivid examples of the fact that what persons abhor most of all in life is the possibility that they will not matter.
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Humor is the healthy way of feeling "distance" between one's self and the problem, a way of standing off and looking at one's problem with perspective.
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Beauty is the experience that gives us a sense of joy and a sense of peace simultaneously.
Rollo MayRead
The poet, like the lover, is a menace on the assembly line.
Rollo MayRead
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