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Some of our loves and attachments are elemental and beyond our choosing, and for that very reason they come spiced with pain and regret and need and hollowness and a feeling as close to anger as I will ever be able to manage.
Colm Toibin
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Certain loves and attachments are deep-rooted and unavoidable, often accompanied by pain and regret.

Colm Toibin's quote reflects on the complexity of human attachments, suggesting that some relationships are fundamental to our being and are formed beyond our conscious choices. These attachments, while enriching our lives, also bring with them challenges such as pain, need, and a sense of hollowness, illustrating the dual nature of love that encompasses both joy and suffering.

Themes

LoveAttachmentPainRegretRelationships

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be used in a discussion about the complexities of romantic relationships in a psychology class.

More from Colm Toibin

I work very deliberately, with a plan. But sometimes I come to a point that I planned as the end and it needs softening. Ending a novel is almost like putting a child to sleep - it can't be done abruptly.
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You create a world away from home and make new rooms for yourself. But when you arrive back home in your old rooms, the world you've made for yourself ceases to be real. Everything seems to crumble. Anyone who's been sent away to boarding school can understand that.
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History is a way of interpreting, rather than, say, knowing, the past. It is usually a set of disputes between those who have access to the same sources. It depends on ideology as much as voting in an election does.
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People love talking about writers as storytellers, but I hate being called that: it suggests I got it from my grandmother or something, when my writing really comes out of silence. If a storyteller came up to me, I'd run away.
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It really matters to writers to find and treasure readers, all the more when they're on the other side of the world.
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Everyone who's in America spends the first few years not experiencing it. The person is frightened by the newness of the place and doesn't see things. Her emotional universe becomes the entire universe. And then when she thinks of home, her distance in space can seem like a distance in time.
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