Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

- Adam Ferrara

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

- Adam Ferrara

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

- Adam Ferrara

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had …

- Adam Ferrara

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's l…

- Adam Ferrara

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

- Adam Ferrara

As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a pa…

- Adam Ferrara

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, …

- Adam Ferrara

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

- Adam Ferrara