Quotes on Funny Marriage

Marriage is sanctified when it is cherished and honored in holiness. That union is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God.

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.

Never forget the nine most important words of any family- I love you. You are beautiful. Please forgive me.

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.

The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

One good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?

Professional marriage counselors agree that the most productive and mature way to deal with marital anger is to stomp dramatically from the room. You want to make your move before the opponent does, because the first person to stomp from the room receives valuable Argument Points that can be redeemed for exciting merchandise at the Marital Prize Redemption Center.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace to the community.

My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn't say.