Marriage is the lightning rod that absorbs anxiety and stress from all other sources, past and present. When marriage has a firm foundation of solid friendship and mutual respect, it can tolerate a fair amount of raw emotion. A good fight can clear the air, and it's nice to know we can survive conflict and even learn from it. Many couples, however, get trapped in endless rounds of fighting and blaming that they don't know how to get out of. When fights go unchecked and unrepaired, they can eventually erode love and respect, which are the bedrock of any successful relationship.
When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either. - Harriet Lerner
When you can't see yourself objectively, you won't see anyone else objectively, either.
- Harriet Lerner
We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same p… - Harriet Lerner
We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same p…
Keep in mind that the tendency to be judgmental - toward yourself or another person - is a good barometer of how anxious or stressed out you are. Jud… - Harriet Lerner
Keep in mind that the tendency to be judgmental - toward yourself or another person - is a good barometer of how anxious or stressed out you are. Jud…
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others. - Harriet Lerner
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability,… - Harriet Lerner
An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability,…
Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person. - Harriet Lerner
Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our co… - Harriet Lerner
Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our co…
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first. - Harriet Lerner
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard. - Harriet Lerner
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
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