I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
Every picture of you is when you were younger. - Mitch Hedberg
Every picture of you is when you were younger.
- Mitch Hedberg
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's h… - Mitch Hedberg
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's h…
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. - Mitch Hedberg
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too. - Mitch Hedberg
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily … - Mitch Hedberg
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily …
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. - Mitch Hedberg
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. - Mitch Hedberg
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. - Mitch Hedberg
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus? - Mitch Hedberg
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?
Login to join the discussion
Login to join the discussion