My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.

- P. J. Plauger

Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off forever.

- P. J. Plauger

If everybody's behavior can be explained by simple stupidity and greed, there's no point in assuming a conspiracy.

- P. J. Plauger

The stored-program digital computer has three major attributes: it is fast, it is accurate, and it is stupid. The first two attributes are often used…

- P. J. Plauger

By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other designers in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.

- P. J. Plauger

Where there are two bugs, there is likely to be a third.

- P. J. Plauger

Beyond 100,000 lines of code, you should probably be coding in Ada.

- P. J. Plauger

Don't stop with your first draft.

- P. J. Plauger