Years ago, I worked in a newspaper office, and there were men that would have fits of temper, and it was just accepted that that's who they were, and everyone would laugh about it, but if a woman got upset or angry, something wasn't right: she was 'hysterical' or 'a little unhinged.' It didn't have the same sort of connotation at all.
Nobody would know me from my own description of myself; which is why, when called upon (rarely, I grant) to provide an account, I tailor it, I adapt, I try to provide an outline that can, in some way, correlate to the outline that people understand me to have -- that, I suppose, I actually have, at this point. But who I am in my head, very few people really get to see that. Almost none. It's the most precious gift I can give, to bring her out of hiding.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote explores the discrepancy between one's self-perception and how others perceive them, highlighting the struggle of revealing one's true self.
In this quote, Claire Messud reflects on the complexity of identity and self-representation. She acknowledges that the way she describes herself is often tailored to fit the expectations of those around her, suggesting that her true self is rarely seen by others. This speaks to the universal experience of feeling misunderstood or hidden, and emphasizes the value of authenticity and vulnerability in personal relationships. The act of revealing one's true self is portrayed as a precious and rare gift, which can deepen connections with others.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a personal growth seminar discussing the importance of authenticity.
More from Claire Messud
All quotes →We think that - as kids, you know - that kids make up stories and live in a sort of fictional place, but that, as grown-ups, we tell the truth and live in fact. But, of course, the reality is we take the facts that we know, and then we fill in all the blanks.
If you ask a ten-year-old girl what she wants to do when she grows up and a fourteen-year-old girl what she wants to be when she grows up, in many cases, the older child will have a much less free sense of what's possible.
Similar quotes
Many of us use God's love like the manna in the desert. We take what we need for particular situations and then go our own way - thinking we can handle other situations ourselves.
Man has his future within him, dynamically alive at this present moment.
I decided, if I'm going to be poor and black and all, the least thing I'm going to do is to try and find out who I am. I created everything about me.
Every generation must recognize and embrace the task it is peculiarly designed by history and by providence to perform.
There is no odor so bad as that which arises from goodness tainted.
When all the arguments have been forgotten, this central fact will remain. The two nations fought a single war, and their quarrels were the quarrels of brothers.