And on that evening when we grow older still we'll speak about these two young men as though they were two strangers we met on the train and whom we admire and want to help along. And we'll want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts.
Interpretation
The quote reflects on the complexities of admiration and envy towards others as we age, highlighting our desire to help and connect, while concealing our feelings of regret.
In this quote, Andr Aciman captures the bittersweet emotions that come with growing older and reflecting on the lives of others. It emphasizes how we often disguise our deeper feelings of regret with admiration, especially when we look back on lost opportunities or unfulfilled dreams. The idea of viewing these young men as 'strangers' suggests a distance created by time and circumstance, yet there remains a longing to support and connect with them, revealing the dual nature of our emotions—both envy for their potential and a hidden sense of loss for what we ourselves may not have achieved.
In practice
This quote could be shared during a reunion to reflect on how we've changed and what we admire in others.
As we walked, I began to wonder what the opposite of molting was and why, unlike the body, which sheds everything, the soul cannot let go but compiles and accumulates, growing annual rings around the things it wants and dreams and remembers
Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.
The most congenial social occasions are those ruled by cheerful deference of each for all.
Marriage is about becoming a team. You’re going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you’ll always figure out a way to get through it.
I found, when I left, that there were others who felt the same way. We'd meet, they'd come and seek me out, we'd talk about the future. And I found that their depression and pessimism was every bit as acute as mine.
We all leave one another. We die, we change - it's mostly change - we outgrow our best friends; but even if I do leave you, I will have passed on to you something of myself; you will be a different person because of knowing me; it's inescapable.
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
I had to go on without my mother, even though I was suffering terribly, grieving her.
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