Life with most teenagers was like having a low-grade bladder infection. It hurts, but you had to tough it out.
Part of me loves and respects men so desperately, and part of me thinks they are so embarrassingly incompetent at life and in love. You have to teach them the very basics of emotional literacy. You have to teach them how to be there for you, and part of me feels tender toward them and gentle, and part of me is so afraid of them, afraid of any more violation.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote expresses a complex view of men, highlighting both admiration and frustration regarding their emotional understanding.
Anne Lamott's quote reflects the duality of feelings a person can have toward men in the context of relationships. On one hand, there is a deep appreciation for their humanity and vulnerability, while on the other hand, there is a sense of disappointment in their emotional maturity and ability to connect meaningfully. This creates a tension where one feels both compassionate and wary, illustrating the challenges of navigating relationships in the realm of emotional literacy.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion on emotional intelligence, this quote can highlight the need for better communication in relationships.
More from Anne Lamott
All quotes →Or you might shout at the top of your lungs or whisper into your sleeve, "I hate you, God." That is a prayer too, because it is real, it is truth, and maybe it is the first sincere thought you've had in months.
Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.
It is hard to remember that you are a cherished spiritual being when you're burping up apple fritters and Cheetos.
Gorgeous, amazing things come into our lives when we are paying attention: mangoes, grandnieces, Bach, ponds. This happens more often when we have as little expectation as possible. If you say, "Well, that's pretty much what I thought I'd see," you are in trouble. At that point you have to ask yourself why you are even here. [...] Astonishing material and revelation appear in our lives all the time. Let it be. Unto us, so much is given. We just have to be open for business.
...because when people have seen you at their worst, you don't have to put on the mask as much.
Similar quotes
There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
If you will make your first concern the comfort, the well-being, and the happiness of your companion, sublimating any personal concern to that loftier goal, you will be happy, and your marriage will go on through eternity
So she viewed time spent in the land of the normal as an investigation into the world of marriage-worthy men, even if she was unsure about her own interest in marriage. There must be one solid citizen who also had a spark of life, a sense of humor and adventure.
A little still she strove, and much repented, And whispering “I will ne'er consent”—consented.
All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated a little.
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.